Among the other fundamentals of management, such as 1:1, coaching, and delegation, feedback is generally the most difficult to grasp because of our preconceived ideas about what feedback is, because of the impact or anticipation of the emotional impact that feedback can have on the receiver (which varies according to the manager’s level of empathy and relationship with the team), because of the emotional charge that can accompany feedback, or because of the fear that it will lead to conflict with the employee. This article aims to give you the keys to building healthy and effective feedback for your team.
❯ What feedback is
Feedback is a form of communication between a manager and one of the people they manage concerning their actions or behavior. It intends to influence their future behavior and actions by maintaining or encouraging them or adjusting or changing them.
Feedback is objective and relates to an action or behavior. It does not judge the person; it aims to change their action. To be effective, it must focus on what the person DOES and not what the person IS.
❯ What feedback is not
Feedback is not subjective (we focus on the facts, not on our own opinion). It is neither a reproach to the employee nor a judgment. Therefore, feedback is devoid of emotion. It’s not about attacking the person, echoing “someone has told someone something about you”, or making innuendoes because the feedback will be ineffective, counterproductive, or even harmful to the relationship.
❯ Feedback for reinforcement and adjustment
There are two types of feedback: reinforcement feedback, also known as positive feedback, and adjustment feedback, also known as negative feedback.
I much prefer the terms reinforcement and adjustment to positive and negative. Talking about positive and negative sounds like a compliment and a reproach, respectively. Above all, the purpose of feedback is to give employee visibility of their behavior and its impact and to guide them by giving them feedback based on facts to encourage or discourage future behavior.
❯ Reinforcement feedback
Like criticism, feedback is not just about changing bad behavior or behavior that can be improved. Feedback is also intended to encourage positive behavior, show that you have noted this behavior, have a good impact, and wish to emphasize and support it. Reinforcing feedback is statistically less common than adjusting feedback. Among the explanations, there’s a societal one (depending on the culture, we may be more inclined to blame than to compliment), but there’s also the idea that it’s part of the job, and there’s no need to point it out. In reality, not highlighting good behavior shows indifference towards it and, therefore, does not motivate people to take the initiative to add value to the team.
A little trick for people who have great difficulty giving reinforcing feedback.
Set a personal target for the positive feedback you give in a week. For example, you could give five positive feedback to your team weekly. Add five checkboxes to a sheet of paper, a whiteboard, a Kanban board on Notion, etc. As soon as you give feedback, you tick a box. When the fifth box is ticked, you reward yourself (e.g., with a beer, chocolate, etc.). This motivates you, keeps you focused on your goal, and gives you a good excuse to eat chocolate or drink beer!
❯ Adjustment Feedback
Feedback that comes instinctively to mind. This feedback aims to change bad behavior or behavior that can be improved. The aim is to emphasize that you have noticed the behavior, that you are not indifferent to it, that it has negative consequences, and that you are asking your employee to take action to put a stop to it.
❯ When should feedback be given?
There are several points to note. Firstly, as far as possible, but not necessarily immediately. This is particularly true if you cannot immediately provide it in an emotionally neutral way.
Before giving feedback, a good reflex is to ask yourself: “Would it cost me anything not to give this feedback? “Am I prepared to let it go?” If so, this is the right time to give it. But it must also be given within a reasonable timeframe (ideally within the current week and seven days at the latest). After this deadline, please don’t give the feedback: it will be out of context and have no effect other than to undermine your credibility.
Feedback must be given face-to-face (no congratulations or shaming in front of everyone; this can be humiliating or embarrassing, depending on the person’s ‘character’). The 1:1 is the ideal place to share feedback with a colleague. That’s why I recommend weekly 30-minute 1:1s, 10 minutes dedicated to feedback.
Unacceptable behavior, words, and/or gestures in general and particularly in a professional context do not fall within the scope of feedback. Depending on the degree of seriousness and recurrence, feedback should be given immediately, and the HR department and line management must be informed without delay.
❯ The pattern to follow
❯ Step 1. Ask for permission to go direct
❯ The expression to use
May I / may I give you feedback/comments?
❯ Why?
You need to ensure that the person you will give feedback to is in the right frame of mind to accept. Perhaps it’s not the right time for them to receive feedback because they’re not focused, are still emotionally charged (by which you mean irritated) by something that has just happened, possibly the subject of the feedback, and would prefer to talk about it again once the tension has subsided. This makes it clear that what you will say next is feedback, giving feedback on what the person has done or asking for action on their part. The fact that the person agrees to receive the feedback indicates that the person is listening to you and is ready to accept the remark you will make. This will limit the risk of your objective feedback being experienced as an attack.
❯ Step 2. Describe the facts
❯ The expression to use
When you <the behavior concerned by this feedback>
❯ Why?
Here, you describe the facts that are the subject of the feedback. Starting with this expression ensures that you will set out these facts factually, opening the way to the next part of the pattern concerning the consequences.
❯ Step 3. Describe the consequences
❯ The expression to use
Here are the consequences: <effects> OR This results in <effects>.
❯ Why?
Here, you describe the consequences induced by the facts described above. This is the cornerstone of the feedback: you want to change the behavior mentioned above to change the situation described in the consequences. To make the feedback all the more effective, ideally, you should adapt what you say to the profile of the person you are talking to (see Disc profile), focusing more on the impact in terms of performance for people who are more results-oriented or on the emotional impact for those who are more people-oriented.
❯ Step 4: Encourage or ask for change
❯ The expression to use
(reinforcing feedback)
That’s very good; I encourage you to continue.
Congratulations; Keep going in that direction
(adjusting feedback)
What can you do to change your behavior? OR I’m asking you to change your behavior.
❯ Why?
This concludes the feedback. We make the positive impact explicit and encourage it; on the contrary, we close the feedback by asking the employee to be active and take action to ensure that the behavior changes.
❯ Why do we need a pattern?
This may seem (very artificial). However, applying this pattern helps to structure the feedback: asking for consent, explaining the facts and the consequences, and encouraging/requesting change. This ensures that the message is explicit and avoids judgment or emotion. Defining such a framework also means that feedback can be prepared in advance. It mitigates the discomfort that even the most empathetic managers feel when they receive rather harsh adjustment feedback. Finally, for the person you are talking to, it makes it clear that you are preparing to give feedback, maximizing the chances that the message will be successfully conveyed.
Here are a few examples.
❯ First example
An experienced developer, Raoul, got carried away at an architecture meeting concerning the new feature. “Raoul, can I give you some feedback? When you get carried away in a meeting, cut other developers off, or raise your voice when someone disagrees, here are the consequences: your colleagues are discouraged and no longer dare to express their point of view. They’re afraid to express themselves, and in the end, they prefer to accept your point of view. They too have experience acquired on technology similar to ours, and you should listen to their point of view, if only for a question of respect. What can you do to change your behavior? »
❯ Second example
Louise, an experienced developer, systematically arrives late for team meetings. For the 5th time in a row, she arrived 10 minutes late for the daily scrum meeting. “Louise, can I comment? When you arrive ten minutes late for a team meeting, such as the daily scrum meeting, the others who arrived on time get impatient. They wait for you to arrive before starting and end up having to discuss what they’ve done, what they will do, and share their sticking points in 5 minutes instead of the 15 originally planned. It also dramatically reduces the effectiveness of the meeting, which shows a lack of respect for the team and is detrimental to its smooth running. So, I’m asking you to change your behavior.
❯ Pitfalls to avoid
If, on the first question, your colleague doesn’t want to receive feedback, don’t force them. You accept the refusal, and you don’t do it. You will try again next time for the subsequent feedback.
But after several consecutive refusals, you force the hand and give the feedback, “I hear your refusal, but I need to give you this feedback […]”. Always stick to the facts, not the emotion: feedback is designed to encourage or adjust behavior, not to congratulate, humiliate, or scold someone.
Be careful not to give ‘sandwich’ feedback: reinforcing feedback, followed by adjusting feedback, and finally reinforcing feedback. We naturally do this to soften the emotional impact supposedly caused by the adjustment feedback. This certainly drowns out the message(s) you want to get across and renders the feedback useless. In this case, it’s better to concentrate on a single piece of feedback that will have the most significant impact.
Finally, avoid useless feedback on minor/frivolous matters, where the consequences and impact on the team’s smooth running are limited. Byapplying the pattern presented in the previous section, the paltry side of the behavior’s impact should appear rather obvious.
